Tag Archives: MMRWA

Finding My Tribe

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Tribe (n): a social division in a traditional society consisting of families or communities linked by social, economic, religious, or blood ties, with a common culture and dialect, typically having a recognized leader.

 

I remember the first time I went to a writers meeting. It was in the fall, circa 2007, at a sweet little restaurant about an hour from my house.

I was terrified. Sick-to-my-stomach, close-to-hyperventilating, certain-I-was-going-to-make-an-ass-of-myself, TERRIFIED. These women were writers. Real, honest-to-goodness writers. I was just a wannabe, with one not-so-good book under my belt. I wasn’t published, had yet to have even query an agent, and knew nothing about the industry. Or even how to properly format a manuscript. Certainly, I had no business being there.

But I screwed up my courage and went to a monthly MMRWA meeting, because I desperately wanted to be a writer.

They welcomed me with open arms. And when I say open, I mean it. Pretty sure I got a hug that day.

Discovering other people heard voices in their heads—which meant I wasn’t alone in my particular brand of crazy—was a gift and a miracle.

I found my tribe.

Now, over a decade later, that tribe meets once a year for a special Retreat From Harsh Reality. I’ve attended every year but one (when I was in Paris for a romance festival—they forgave me, lol). From 2008 when I was six months pregnant, to 2009 when my baby wasn’t even a year old and I had to cart around a breast pump all weekend, to 2014 when my first book came out and I received a plaque from the group in celebration, to 2015 when I received an Angel Award for service to the chapter, to this very weekend. April 2018.

The Mid-Michigan Romance Writers of America chapter is my home away from home. My tribe. A small “social division” of romance writers in Michigan, who are part of a larger “traditional society consisting of [a] communit[y]” of worldwide romance writers.

We come from all walks of life and are at all stages of our careers. Some of us are pre-pubbed, some are querying. Some have self-pubbed their tenth book, some have sold their first. We write contemporary, historical, suspense, cozy mystery, sci-fi romance, and everything else you can think of.

Everyone is welcome. Everyone is appreciated.

And there are a ton of laughs.

At the Toot Your Own Horn ceremony, where everyone gets a chance to celebrate an accomplishment from the past year.

This year, our speaker was the incomparable Jennifer Probst. She’s funny, brilliantly intelligent, a wonderful writer, and slipped right into our tribe as if she belonged there. I picked up her craft book, WRITE NAKED, and then a romance novel, SEARCHING FOR DISASTER, because I simply couldn’t resist.

 

Jennifer, speaking on craft.

 

 

My roommate was a long time friend and critique partner, my fav-fav-fav Tracy Brogan, who I have known since those way back pre-pub years. We brainstormed current books, laughed over (fixed) plot holes in HIGHLAND SURRENDER and (fixed) character problems in A DANCE WITH SEDUCTION, snickered into wine glasses, and ate Doritos. (She politely shared the nacho cheese flavor. I hoarded and ate an entire bag of cool ranch flavor…Is that even a real flavor?!)

Our weekend snack table, courtesy of Tracy, because I was busy eating.

 

Meika Usher, my almost-weekly coffee shop compadre, received a first book plaque for SOMETHING SO SWEET, and we celebrated the May 2 release of her second book. I knew a few weeks in advance she would be receiving it, and it was the hardest thing to keep secret.

Courtesy Meika, cuz I forgot.

The Angel Award nominee was Diana Stout, who is professor, friend, don’t-forget-to-write heckler, cookbook author, chapter website guru, and all around deserved of the award.

Words abounded in the write-ins. Craft was discussed in depth during Jennifer’s presentation on WRITE NAKED. Raffles were won and lost and won again. Ideas were exchanged during the industry talk.

And many, many laughs happened around bowls of chocolate, glasses of wine, mugs of coffee, and pads of paper.

Sometimes life gifts you with a place you can belong without working at it. A place that sees you, in all your crazy glory. A place that pulls you up when you’re falling down, lifts you higher when you’re already on cloud nine, and most importantly, speaks your language.

MMRWA is my tribe.

 

 

Gift From The Angels

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I would like to make a “speech”, a little late because I didn’t know how to say what I wanted to say. But it is no less heartfelt for it.

A few weekends ago I attended the Mid-Michigan Romance Writers of America Chapter’s annual Retreat From Harsh Reality. It’s a weekend of writing, camaraderie, learning and fun. Every year, the members nominate one person who has gone above and beyond in their service to the Chapter.

IMG_20160501_205354This year, it was me.

Thank you for the Angel Award. I’m humbled, honored and so very happy to receive it and be among the Angels.

MMRWA has meant so much to me over these last nine years. I wouldn’t be who I am without it—and that’s a writer. I’d always wanted to write and the biggest step—the biggest hurdle—was acknowledging to someone other than my husband that it was my dream. It was one of those things I kept close to my heart because I was afraid if I said it out loud, it would be real. And if it was real, then I had to do something about it.

But I finally couldn’t NOT be a writer. So I joined MMRWA. I came to a meeting, terrified I’d be thrown out because I didn’t know what I was doing.

Please note, I still don’t know what I’m doing. I’m just better at faking it.

But I found my people that day. And they were warm, kind, and didn’t throw me out. In fact, the first meeting I went to was a critique. Margo Hoornstra’s advice that day still rings in my mind every time I start a book. Sometimes you have to write some pages just to get into the character’s head, and then the story can start. That’s close to verbatim, though it’s been nine years since she said it.

Before MMRWA I thought I was slightly crazy to hear voices in my head. When I discovered other people did too—and they weren’t the crazy schizophrenic kind of voices—I finally felt normal. Writers have stories to tell and people to tell them about. Sometimes it’s the plot that sings, and sometimes the characters. Either way, I discovered I was not alone in wanting to tell stories.

In the end, I found a group of women who love romance. Who love the adventure of writing. Who love the crazy of writing. And they let me in. Or, you know, maybe I pushed my way in. Because I’m me, and I’m loud, I laugh a lot and I have much to say.

So I started to love the organization. And then I volunteered for a committee. And then I was a newsletter editor. Then I started being more involved. Then more. And suddenly I was President. (Who the hell voted for this idiot, anyway?!?!?)

And then I sold. It was thrilling and wonderful and amazing, and the ladies of MMRWA celebrated with me. I entered the wild and woolly world of publishing. I was editing, writing a new book, holding down a family, a full-time job, a Presidency, a deadline, setting up my website, joining another local writing group. I couldn’t tell when I was coming and when I was going.

MMRWA was always a safe haven. A place where women understood.

That cannot be measured with any cup or bowl or device we humans have developed. Friendship and encouragement simply are. Without boundaries. Oh, I’m sure I’m annoying as all hell when I really get going. But they never kicked me out.

For that, I will always be grateful.

But they did one more thing. They gave me an Angel Award. Members nominated me. Previous Angels approved it.

I don’t work for the Chapter for recognition. I do it because I love it. Yes, it’s hard. Yes, it takes time away from writing. But I wouldn’t be a writer without the ladies of MMRWA. So this is my way to give back to a group that gave to me.

I did not give MMRWA an Angel.

I have been gifted with Angels.